I just realized this morning when I woke up that I subconciously challenge and test people around me very often. And I believe that might be the cause of why people don't always and necessarily want to be around me. It's not that they don't like me - It's just that they don't trust me (and quite frankly I understand that my behaviour can be exhausting) - and the most probable cause of that is that I, myself, have an issue trusting people and believing in their best intentions (I forgive myself for this because my experiences and choices of the past have helped shape that). I have not been able to surrender, or let go of old beliefs, and that has made me less approachable.
I have a massive fear of being rejected, but even bigger is my fear of not be given a chance because I close myself up and I can't relax and be myself around people.
It happens very rarely (me being able to relax), but when it does enough times it usually leads to beautiful friendships (which I cherish with all my heart).
I want to take this time to reflect on this; that I want to stop challenging and testing people.
I want to trust more, love more and believe more in the worlds good vibes, in the good in people and in the good in their intentions.
I heard once a quote that says:
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free"
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
...and I realize now that I have not been free, but I am on my way.
It is safe to surrender.
It is safe to trust.
It is safe to hope.
It is safe to believe.
It is safe to forgive.
It is safe to LOVE.
...and start with yourself. Love yourself as much and as often as you can. Dissmiss all negative thoughts about yourself and dissmiss your fears!
The more you give of yourself the more will come back to you.
Surrender!
Don't play social games.
Speak with integrity.
Don't take things personal.
Laugh and love a lot.
Those who risk, win!
Much love! xx
<3
